Archive for lesbian

A Straight Person’s Guide to Labels

Posted in definitions, LGBT, Writing with tags , , , , , , , on March 26, 2015 by Jessica Crichton

We’re a people of labels. In order to understand each-other, we have to put each-other into categories, such as:

“Straight” – “I can talk to this person like a “normal” person, because they represent what I was raised to know.”

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“Gay/Lesbian” – “I will talk to this person like the opposite gender who I’m used to talking to. Wait… how can I talk to a man like I talk to a woman? Women are nuts, but men aren’t. How can I talk to a woman like I talk to men? Men are misogynists, but women aren’t. But this person… is? What? A man? A woman? How do I relate to this person? AGGGHH!

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“Transgender” – “Okay, I understand now that gay people are just people. But wait… is this a man or a woman? How can I know if this is a gay person or a straight person if I can’t even tell if they’re male or female? Yeah, the’re people, but how can I tell if they’re going to hit on me and make me uncomfortable? I want to hook up with a man/woman. Trans people are liars who I can’t trust.

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“Asexual” – “Um… what? There are people who don’t even WANT sex? How does that even work? Sex is AMAZING! How can you not want it? No way these people exist. You must be lying.”

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“Pansexual” – “OMG! You want ANYONE? You’re my GREATEST FANTASY! Wait… you don’t want to be with me? You’re an ASSHOLE! Elitist!  You can’t be Pan and tell me what you WANT. You want EVERYTHING. If you don’t, then you’re a hypocrite. Therefore you HAVE to want me!”

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“Bisexual” – “Okay, so you want to be with the opposite gender and the same gender. I have a 50/50 chance then. Sweet! Wait… you don’t want me? Why not? You want dick AND coochie! I have one of those! What.. you want an EMOTIONAL connection too? What are you, a normal person who wants LOVE? HA! Only NORMAL people get love! WEIRD FREAKS like you only want sex! Right? RIGHT! If you wanted love, you’d be with the OPPOSITE gender. Love can only exist that way, after all.

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I’m what society calls “straight”. I’m a woman who loves being with a man — namely, my husband. It’s acceptable in society to be who I am, but I often wonder what it would be like if my sexuality was marginalized. If loving a man, as a woman, was considered odd. Would I force myself to love a woman? No. I couldn’t do that. I could force myself to PRETEND I loved a woman, but it would never be who I really am. Does ANYONE have the right to decide who someone else is? What gives anyone the right to decide the truth of another person? If you need a label to know how to treat someone, you don’t understand the basis of humanity. May I suggest reading ‘Les Miserables” by Victor Hugo, “What is Man?” by Mark Twain, or “Ulysses” by James Joyce, to better understand your place in the universe? Read. Learn. Grow. Otherwise, you may never understand the place you hold in the history of man… and that’s not an enlightened place to be.

THIS is why literature is important. THIS is why books matter.

~Jessica Rising

http://jessica-rising.com

How my Cisgendered, Straight Sexuality Taught me about Truth

Posted in LGBT with tags , , , , , on March 16, 2015 by Jessica Crichton

I was raised by a mother who I still worship to this day. I grew up with two sisters who I have always looked up to. I am Pagan, and relate to the Goddess so much more than any male-centric god. I had a father who cared more about alcohol than me, and a shitty stepfather who abused me and my sisters to the point that we’re still dealing with the psychological rift he built between us even now. My first marriage was full of control and psychological and religious manipulation. I never had any reason to even respect a man until I was in my early 30’s.

Yet I am a heterosexual woman.

Why does this matter? Why should anyone care that I’m in the realm of “normal” for society?

Because if sexual orientation was a choice, I’d be the perfect candidate for a lesbian.

Funny, though. I have no interest in women. I have experimented, like many, but every time it felt wrong. I am attracted to men, despite my prison-like patriotical upbringing. Despite the rape I experienced as a nine-year-old at the hands of my stepfather’s fourteen-year-old son. Despite my religiously controlled first marriage. Despite everything I have endured that tells me men are everything I want to avoid, I’m still attracted to them. Despite my love of my mother, despite the adoration I have for my sisters, despite the closeness of my very best girlfriends, I’m attracted to men.

To men I should hate. To men I should fear. To men I was raised to avoid and be terrified of.

Yet after 37 years of experimentation and adventure, I know now that I am 100%, absolutely, positively, and completely heterosexual.

Because I. Love. Men.

I am attracted to males. I am sexually excited by males. I adore my husband and am so attracted to him that it sometimes drives me wild. It never felt natural to be with a woman. Never.

And this, above everything else I can cite, is why I am entirely supportive of  the LGBT community. Because if I, as a woman who never had a reason to even like men for the first three DECADES of my life, am still attracted to men, then how in the HELL could it be a choice?

Respect everyone. Love everyone. We all follow the path we love, and if we don’t then we’re on a path to Hell. Nobody deserves that. Never be the ferryman to that kind of place. Not for anyone. Not ever.

I refuse to ever point anyone in the direction of a lie.

John M. Cusick

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