Taking a Deep Breath and Jumping Back In

It’s never easy to be rejected. No matter how many times it happens, it hurts. But when you’ve gotten SOCLOSE that you’ve allowed your hopes to fly higher than ever before, the fall, when it comes, is much longer.

And the impact on rock-bottom is much, much more painful.

After over a year of querying, and rejection after rejection, an agent finally wanted my work! He even told me to revise and resend! I was SO excited! And then, this:

“Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to look at the revised DR. FIXIT’S MALICIOUS MACHINE.  The manuscript is certainly improved, and the characters and narrative are colorful and entertaining.  However, there are still a number of issues that seem to us to hold the story back…”

I was numb at first. I was SO SURE he would take me on! And then the pain set in. And when it did, it was awful. Compared to the others, this was like the difference between a papercut and the violent removal of my whole hand. It wasn’t just that he had requested a revision. It wasn’t just that his interest gave me hope in my story…

It was that I had lost the excitement of waking up each day wondering of this would be the day I finally landed an agent.

That was it and all, really. Now I went to bed with no anticipation of the next day. I woke up with no reason to get out of bed. Yes, I have children and a husband and schoolwork to do, but it felt like all I was doing was the motions, without the excitement of a possible agent phone call looming over my head.

I felt myself slipping into a real depression. When I realized what was happening, I knew there was no choice: I had to fight it with everything in me.

And so I reread the rejection with a new eye. What had they said that was good? What was bad? What could I fix?

And now, taking a deeper breath than I have ever taken before, I jump back into the slush.

Time for more revisions.

I will NOT let this become my defeat.

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